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Jerry Hayes

Send for Larry the No 10 cat. I smell a big fat rat in AV NO. Why won’t they tell us who is bankrolling them?

February 19th, 2011 by Jerry Hayes

Send for Larry the Downing Street cat, because I smell a large fat rat skulking around the AV NO campaign. Well, to be fair, to call it a campaign would be rather flattering.

What we have witnessed in the last few days is a glossy set of adverts with the subtle message that if the public are so thick as to vote for a change to our wonderfully fair voting system it will cost them over £250 m,  putting  babies and soldiers at risk of imminent death.

So there, you fools. It’s that bloody simple. Now just get on with your boring little jobs in your dull little lives and let us, the political classes, support our vested interests, whether it be big businesses or the Trade Unions and fuck up the country every five years. You know it makes sense. And we won’t let you down. But if you are not attracted to that logical and intellectual argument, a NO vote will give that little upstart Clegg the damn good thrashing he deserves. Now pass me the riding crop Heffer, I want to get in training.

But this nonsense is not what gets my goat, gives it a good shagging and sends it off to the Halal butchers to be distributed amongst terrorist cells in Luton. No, what I find so gutwrenchingly outragious is that the NO AV brigade is very coy in telling us who their financial backers are. Well, coy is being generous. They will tell us; eventually. And are gracious enough indicate that all will revealed before Britain goes to the polls. Well mateys, that not bloody good enough. The public have a right to be told who are the paymasters of those who want to preserve the present system where 150,000 voters in 100,000 constituencies decide an election. We want to know  just how well vested  these  vested interests really are.

The list of donors will, I suspect will not be too much of a surprise. Anti Brussels squillionaires, retired freedom loving businessmen living in off shore tax havens and well known right wing authors. And the big battalions of the Trade Union movement. Oh yes, their coffers have been opened to pour the hard earned cash of their members into the NO campaign. Why? Because AV would seriously weaken their power.

So I suspect the real reason that NO AV are doing their best to wriggle out of revealing their donors is because  they contain some unusual bedfellows who would not normally go on a date, let alone end  up in a full on gang bang of the electoral system.

And this is one of the problems for Cameron. This is like a national version of the Saddleworth by election, but with far higher stakes. He wants to keep the Coalition intact,  yet at the same time throw bits of red meat to his right wing. He wants Clegg to come out of it all smelling of roses, but feels he has to say something to the contrary. The dilemma will be how much and how often. Already he has been goaded by the Vicar of Grey, Tim Montgomerie, the Dame Formidable of Conservative Home, urging Cameron not to be a “loser” and come out fighting. How long will it be before the Orc armies of the Mail and the Telegraph demand that there should be the smell of grapeshot, gunpowder and sulphur emanating from the Tory wing of Downing Street. Not long.

Cameron, will go through the motions and we will see for the first time what might pass as a civilised debate amongst the parties. The electorate might enjoy the novelty. But the right won’t like that one little bit. They demand, blood guts, pain and torture. They will accuse him of being a closet Coalitionist, a Liberal lover, whose natural instincts are not Conservative at all, but with a well heeled, out of touch with the national pain, Notting Hill set. Oh, if only he would listen to our sound advice.

And what will he do? What he does best. Go on the stump and fight for every Tory seat at the local elections. But you won’t hear too much from him about AV. He’s nailed his colours to the mast and would now rather sail away to more peaceful waters.

Oh, and we mustn’t forget who is funding YES AV. 90% comes from those baby killing, soldier hating, Rowntree Trust and the Electoral Reform Society Johnnies. The Commie bastards.

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Comments [ 3 ]

  1. Mike Garrick Mike Garrick says:

    LOL Made my day, as always, though I think you’re very generous to call them donors. I’m sure by the time we’ve all sat through three transparent televised debates on AV, we’ll all be none the wiser,I’ve decided to be a closet coalitionist and sit on the fence, be spontaneous like Nick Clegg ” Extraditing Gary McKinnon is morally wrong” etcetera etcetera ;

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